


Zombieland. Like Candyland, But More Traumatic

by Dickmark, Empress_of_the_Damned



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Elemental Magic, F/M, Zombie Apocalypse, based on an rp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:05:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6668851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dickmark/pseuds/Dickmark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empress_of_the_Damned/pseuds/Empress_of_the_Damned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A zombie apocalypse was all well and good but, with elemental powers in the mix, things got a bit more interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which an unlikely friendship is born

This whole apocalypse shit started when someone ate a tainted burger and it turned him into a zombie. It rotted his brains like they always said the media would and then he had a craving for more. He then bit another person and the same thing happened to that poor sod. It continued as such, spreading all over the globe like wildfire, maybe the Spanish Flu.

Except instead of just killing people, it reanimated their corpses.

Only a few survivors were left, one of them being a tall, blond, Danish guy by the name of Mathias Køhler.

Mathias trudged around the abandoned town, his heavy axe which seemed to echo his heritage securely gripped in his hand. There was not a person in sight from what he could see. One less thing to protect himself from.

He walked over to an old grocery store to see if there was any food left since he only had a can or two of probably expired pineapple in the large backpack on his back. Upon entering the establishment, it too was devoid of life however he still took pride and care in being very alert and quiet so as to not attract any zombies that might be in the shop as he began scouring the aisles in search of something even remotely edible. At this point, he was even considering eating his old friend Arthur's scones, he was that low on food.

Amongst the empty shelves, he found a few cans of assorted fruits which he proceeded to shove into his bag. That should keep him going for a bit longer, right? Ugh, the hunger would get him before the zombies did, at this rate.

Just as he was about to leave, he heard something enter the shop. Axe at the ready, he was prepared to kill whatever mutant was there...

 

* * *

 

This whole situation seemed very familiar, wasn't there a movie about this? Yeah, she remembered watching it with her brother and laughing at how absurd the whole idea was. It seemed somewhat more believable now than back then.

Julchen knew what happened without even being told, knew what she had to do to survive. So, armed with a plethora of weapons, she had left her home in search of her idiot little brother who had been at university at the time. He was her hope and the reason she kept walking.

Her journey had brought her to this grocery store so she could attempt to scavenge what resources she could. But it also lead her to come face to face with a guy who was about twice the size of her and had a massive axe. Okay, she was going to avoid him... But she couldn't get around the place with him around, not in one piece. Plus, he'd probably cleaned the place out. Should she just run for it and hope for the best?

When Mathias found her he knew she wasn't a zombie by her posture. He still didn't take this lightly since the last person he came in contact with since this started tried to eat him in his sleep because they were low on supplies. Long story short, they hadn't lasted the night and their corpse was left for the zombies to eat. Ah, the irony.

The blond simply pointed his axe at her threateningly but didn't actually swing it. She had yet to do something wrong and so he didn't want to hurt her without being provoked. In this current world, it was a good idea to not kill people who looked like they might be helpful.

' _Who are you and why are you here?_ ' He asked in his native tongue, thinking that she could possibly understand what he was saying; because they were close to the border of Germany and Denmark and most people who had lived around there spoke both languages so, statistically speaking, she should speak Danish!

Alas, Mathias had found the one person who did not speak Danish out of all those who could. Julchen simply blinked at him, holding onto the sword at her hip as a precaution in case he actually swung that oversized axe. Who even needs a weapon that big, anyway?

' _The fuck?_ ' She had never picked up much Danish since she didn't live near the border before all this. ' _Please tell me you speak German. Or English, that works too._ ' She replied in her native tongue, getting ready to fight if she needed to. All she wanted was to have some food since she could see her ribs. At least it was another human and this one didn't look like he was gonna hurt her unless she struck first. That axe was scary as fuck though.

He understood what she said from the very little German he'd picked up from over the years and heard what sounded like a dodgy pronunciation of 'English'. Thank fuck, they could communicate! Huzzah, perhaps this could lead to an alliance!

"I'm Mathias. Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?" He asked in English, lowering his axe ever so slightly however keeping a good hold on it just in case he needed to use it. Despite her seemingly harmless exterior, it wasn't as if no one had ever tricked him before like this in an attempt to steal all of his supplies.

The 'Prussian' (by her own insistance) girl seemed excited that he could speak English because at least they could communicate and she could assure him that she was only here to get some food! "I'm Julchen, I'm just looking for some food and water. Do you have any spare?" She was horribly pale, even considering her usual complexion and looked like she hadn't eaten properly in about a week. Her hand still hovered over one of her knives just in case he decided to strike. If he wasn't going to stand down, neither would she.

He thought for a moment then nodded, thinking she needed the food more than he did. Even through those layers and layers of clothing, it was obvious she was frightfully thin. He lowered his axe all the way and took off his backpack to rummage through it and pull out two cans. They were rolled over to her and his pack was replaced back in its rightful place on his back. She looked relieved and was debating hugging him to say thanks but that was scrapped as a bad idea.

So, instead, she merely thanked him quietly, setting her pack down and shoving the cans in there.

It was weird how he was being nice enough to give food to someone he had just met but she wasn't complaining. Food was food, even if it could have been poisoned or something. That would be a better death than the zombies getting them.

"You're welcome." He replied, putting his axe over his shoulder. After he looked around his surroundings, he eventually sat down and looked out one of the windows.

It was getting dark.

"Might as well stay here for the night. It gets really bad at night." The tall blond mentioned with a sigh.

"Haven't slept inside for a while." The far shorter albino girl laughed a little and sat down with him. For the past few weeks, she'd been sleeping in trees. But they were going to need to move to where it was safer, probably out in the back. "Promise you won't kill me and steal my stuff while I sleep?" It was almost a joke however it was a well founded question.

"Neither have I." He mentioned. The last time he slept inside was a couple of days after the Apocalypse had started. "I promise not to kill you or steal your stuff as long as you promise me the same thing." He agreed with a nod.

"Promise. I kinda owe you." She hummed, sighing softly before getting up again. "Come on, we'd better head to the store room or something where we at least have a door to barricade that doesn't open automatically." It was nice to have company though.

The Dane nodded. "Yeah, it'd be kinda stupid if we stayed out here." He stood up with her and began walking to the back. "You don't owe me anything by the way, consider it my treat." Maybe he was being overly nice but oh well, that's the kind of guy he was. Kindness would probably kill him before the zombies did.

She smiled a little and followed after him. "You're hella nice, Matt." She was probably going to sleep well that night. He looked warm and she was constantly freezing... "But you wanna share a blanket tonight? I'm afraid it's pretty much all I have."

"Thanks." He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that. I don't have a blanket, I usually just use my coat as a blanket." He mentioned as they reached the back. That buy was probably trying to freeze to death or something!

There was a few boxes on the shelves and a few wood crates that they could break to use to block the door and use for fire wood. The boxes had long been emptied and it was apparent that someone had been here before them. But at least it was safe here.

"You must have been freezing sleeping out there then." She was naturally ice cold anyway so she didn't care.

"Nah, I'm naturally warm. I didn't really use blankets before all this stuff started anyway." He mentioned, breaking a few wood crates with his axe before using them to barricade the door.

"Might use you as a heater then." The Prussian woman half joked, setting up another barricade. It had been a while since she had been warm. "Unless you have a problem with that?"

The Danish man shook his head. "Nope, no problem there. My friend Lukas actually called me a human furnace when we were little." He chuckled, ripping up a few boxes and put them on the ground so they didn't have to lay on the cold ground.

She laughed a little at that. "My brother always used to call me an ice pack when we were kids so I ended up messing with him quite a lot way back then..." She missed her little brother and the topic was quickly changed.

"I guess we're like yin and yang then." He shrugged, sitting down.

She hummed, sitting with him and leaning against him. "Yin and yang work best when together."

He nodded. "That is true. Maybe it'd be best if we worked together, at least for a little while." He yawned, closing his eyes.

She grabbed her blanket and threw it over them both. "Are you looking for anyone?" Maybe they could look together. After all most people were looking for others in this world, hope kept people sane. Survival made animals.

He nodded. "Four people, actually. God, I just hope at least two of them are together, make it easier for me." He sighed, opening his eyes and looked at her. "Why? Are you looking for anyone?"

She nodded a little, leaning into him since he was warm. "I'm looking for my little brother." It wouldn't be easy to miss him. He was about 5 foot 11, blond, had blue eyes, and had the shoulder to waist ratio of a dorito. Come to think of it, he was like German Chris Evans. Captain Germany... Didn't have the same ring to it, sadly.

"I'll try and help you find him, maybe we could find who I'm looking for along the wa-ay! Oh my fuck, you're freezing!" He exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her in a bid to return warmth to her slender body.

Julchen simply smiled a little and laughed at his exclamation, cuddling into him. "I did try to warn you." At least he was warm so he would warm her up a little. "Yep, I'm staying here for the night."

"I didn't think it would be this bad!" He protested playfully, chuckling a little as he cuddled her and tried to warm her up. There was something about him that made her feel safe and she could feel herself getting sleepy. It was probably the fact that he was like sitting a comfortable distance away from a fire.

"Not moving..." She mumbled.

"You don't have to move, it's nice." He assured, leaning back on the wall. "Go to sleep if you're tired."

Surprisingly, she did just that and ended up cuddling him all night. She actually slept better than she had in a long time. As an insomniac, it was a dream come true! Mathias stayed awake all night, just in case any zombies got in however, thankfully, they were left alone all night and it was rather peaceful. He eventually fell asleep very early in the morning.

 


	2. On the road again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took ages but it was worth it. Also, Sami, happy birthday, this was what I was on about!

When Julchen woke up in the morning, she didn't move so she wouldn't wake her warm and surprisingly soft pillow, instead just enjoying the fact that she could relax for once in her life. After a while, Mathias eventually woke up and, when he did, his teddy bear finally got up to find something they could eat so they would have energy to run for their lives. He got up as well but he looked around for any supplies they could use, hopefully the next store they stopped at had more food. They managed to find something at least so they could eat and be ready for the rest of their trek and he got some more wood and found some matches, which they could use later for when his powers aren't working. Ah, the perks of fire powers in a zombie apocalypse.

Once they had eaten their meagre meal of a tin of some form of food that should have been warm but they could live with being cold, she packed up their stuff, wondering if they were going in the same direction. "Hey, Mathias? Do you know where you were headed?"

He looked up before simply nodding. "Yeah, I'm heading to the university. My friends Emil and Lukas lived in the dorms there before all this." He just wanted to find someone he knew, even if they wouldn't want him around anymore. Just as long as there was someone with him that he cared about... The Dane was going to protect the people he had grown to call family but he was going to have to find them first. 

"Weird. I'm heading there too, my brother was studying there when all this happened..." Well, her brother had wanted to stay somewhere near home. "You think they know each other?"

He shrugged slightly, doing one final check for anything else they could scavenge. Too bad it had mostly been cleaned out. "Possibly, good thing they're in the same place though. That could of been a lot more traveling for the both of us."

She smiled faintly, a little sadly even. "If they weren't there, you wouldn't end up going with me. There's no point if the people you were looking for are there."

"Yeah, thank god. They should be together though," he concluded, running a hand through his hair and hoping to hell they were actually there. 

She nodded, looking up at him with some worry. "Something wrong, Mathias?" Her accent had gotten thick again from a lack of use of the English language or speaking at all, for that matter. 

He shook his head. "No, just thinking," he assured, looking at her. Julchen didn't quite believe that but left him be anyway. They had a while to go yet so he had time to speak his mind.

Mathias started gathering the supplies, thinking that they should leave before noon if they want to cover some ground and the albino ended up dragging him out at about ten once they had eaten and everything, that map of Germany she had picked up doing her well.

They travelled on foot for as long as they could, Mathias stayed close to her just in case. They conversed periodically to try and break the silence that was between them and make a solemn journey seem a little more bearable. Over the course of their walking, they found out that they were roughly the same age and it turned out they had both been engineers before all this; Julchen a mechanical one while Mathias chose chemical engineering. Descriptions of who they were looking for were also given, the people sounding somewhat similar yet very, very different at the same time. 

 

* * *

 

Eventually it started to get dark so they would have to take cover for the night soon, something which came in the form of a high tree so zombies couldn't get them. Since it was dark and they were pretty high up on the edge of the clearing, they were able to look out at the stars up above. Mathias showed her the constellations and explained what they all represented, told her some of the countless stories his parents had told him on nights they went out camping. It took a while but he fell asleep at the end of one of the stories while Julchen stayed up and just looked at the stars, noting where everything was and smiling faintly. The abyss of the night sky truly was fascinating, calming in a way that made you question your existence.

Come dawn, about five minutes before Mathias woke up, the girl he was cuddling finally fell asleep, curling up with him since he was warm. He continued to cuddle with her still after he eventually woke up, not wanting to wake the small woman since he knew just how tiring this all was and, since she felt rather thin under all those clothes, he figured she needed all the cuddles she could get. For warmth, of course!

When she did eventually wake up, the Dane bopped her on the nose, smiling like a five year old who had just done the stupidest thing in the world. So wouldn't that be most of the things five year olds do? It was too early to be thinking. The German looked over at him sleepily before just pushing him away a little, muttering that he was annoying. He just laughed slightly and smiled. She sounded like someone else he knows.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

"Morning, Dickmark," she muttered, suppressing a yawn as she rubbed at her eyes.

"You're really going to make fun of my country's name? Okay, Doucheland, I see how it is." Was this guy trying to get pushed out of the tree?

"You can fight me..." Judging by how she was cuddling up to him, it wasn't likely she actually wanted to. Man was warm and it was instinct, okay?

"Okay, fight me then!" He challenged, cuddling her closer.

"Maybe later..." They were going to have to get up soon though if they didn't want to be killed by whatever freaks of nature decided to come too close.

"Alright later."

It took another five minutes before Julchen woke up enough to head out again. She yawned slightly and checked below her before jumping down, Mathias following close behind. After picking up their few belongings, now ready to continue their grand adventure to the university.

"Lead the way, smol." Julchen punched him in the arm for his teasing however did lead the way, a chuckling blond following behind her. They stopped every so often to check where they were and, eventually after some hours of walking and occasionally talking, they found themselves walking on the motorway. It was rather eery how all those cars were abandoned... May as well take advantage of people leaving their keys in their cars. Whilst that could have been a bad idea, it wasn't like bandits could get them from inside a car.

At least they found a classy looking Jeep which she quickly shotgunned driving only for him to get into the driver's seat and hotwire it, remembering how to do that from when he was sixteen. Despite her grumbling, the German just looked in the back of the car before she got into the passenger's seat and let him get on with it as long as she was allowed to drive it. "How do you know how to do that?" She asked after a long moment of silence.

"I did a lot of weird and probably illegal shit when I was a teenager, not proud of most of it," he shrugged, the engine roaring to life before he got into the seat and started driving, much to Julchen's dismay.

"Same. And hey, I wanted to drive!" She protested but let him for now anyway. 

"I'll let you drive when the fuel tank is half empty." He promised, keeping his eyes on the road so they didn't crash into one of the many abandoned cars, most of which had ran out of fuel long before our beloved adventurers arrived.

"What happens when we run out of fuel?" It was a fair point, there was hardly any fuel left as it was.

"Well, we could either get some more fuel or get another car."

"No more fuel, dipshit, every garage has been cleaned out." It all went ages ago and they had about as much chance of finding another car with fuel in as they would have done winning something off a scratchcard.

"Oh shush, we could probably find some," he waved a hand dismissively, able to go a bit quicker now they were out of the labyrinth of cars. "Plus, it was just an option."

She shook her head a little and looked out of the window for a while before speaking up idly. "Is your seatbelt on?"

"Nah, why?" He asked, glancing at her.

"Put it on. Like, right now. And watch the road!" She looked almost worried. Well, more 'I will murder you if you don't do it' than worried but still.

"It's fine though!" He protested however buckled up anyway, purely because of the look on her face. Who knew a five foot albino girl could be so scary? 

"Always wear a seatbelt, double tap, and check the back," she practically scolded, frowning at him.

He groaned and rolled his eyes, putting both hands back on the steering wheel and trying his best to focus on where they were going. "You're just being paranoid, Julchen."

"I'm alive though. Better safe than sorry and paranoid than dead," she pointed out before looking over at him in disbelief. "And seriously, have you never seen Zombieland?"

"I'm alive too though!" The pouty face would have been adorable if she wasn't just a little bit mad. "And nope, never had the time to watch it." 

"I'll see if I can find a copy of it somehow," she shrugged, looking out of the window at all the abandoned cars in the wing mirror which were growing smaller and smaller in the distance. There was a copy of the movie on her phone but, well, that had been out of charge since a day or two after this mess had begun.

Blond spikes which stubbornly defied all laws of gravity bobbed as he nodded, some flattening as he leant back in his chair now that they were driving on pretty much open road again. "Alright, that sounds like a plan."

"It's creepy how accurate it is." A smile tugged at the corner of her pale lips, an almost nostalgic one. It was a good movie and, while zombie flicks had scared her before, she doubted anything would now. 

It had all been fake anyway, all that blood and gore on screen. But this, everything around them, it was all real. People had literally lost their minds to parasitic bacteria which rendered them all but useless and with tummies that had the rumblies that only hands- sorry, human flesh- could satisfy. This was their reality. All the survivors were having to come to terms with the fact that killing zombies was just how they were going to have to survive. In this world, it really was kill or be killed. And, unlike Day Z, humans and zombies alike were the biggest threats. 

"Well I'll definitely need to watch it then," Mathias spoke up, snapping his companion out of her train of thought. But that was when she had an idea.

"Hey, you think we could charge a phone in this thing?" If she could get her phone charged up enough from the car battery, they could just watch the movie once they stopped and were sure they were safe.

He nodded. "Yeah, if we can find a charger."

She grinned, rooting around in the glovebox and finding a charger. It even fit her phone! That was lucky as all hell. "We're in business!" For once, the girl sounded happy. This was a feeling they were going to have to hold onto.

"Hell yes!" He exclaimed happily. 

After plugging in the charger and digging her phone out of that damn rucksack, she was finally able to charge her phone. What a joyful moment it was to see the screen light up and an apple with a chunk out of it pop up on her screen. She looked over at him once her phone had enough battery to actually function. "Pick a band."

The Dane thought for a moment before shrugging a little. "How about Nephew or Twenty One Pilots?"  

"Closest thing I have to that is a mashup of This is Gospel and Car Radio."

"That'll work." Beggars couldn't be choosers and it wasn't like he had his phone for music.

The music was put on shuffle, beginning with that song and cycling through them all one by one. Along the way, they had a little bit of a sing-a-long to boost morale, a few songs being skipped since they were a little embarrassing. Once their fuel tank had emptied halfway, they stopped to quickly switch seats before continuing along, still singing and attempting to lighten their moods. After all, sometimes they needed a break from the apocalypse to just be ordinary twenty-something year olds. In the end, Julchen switched over to her 'apocalypse' playlist which was full of things to get the blood pumping. It was more than a little terrifying to think that they had been defending themselves since this all began but now wasn't the time for that.

After a while, they were running low on fuel so Mathias made her get off the main road so they could stay somewhere for the night. They slept in the car, doors and everything locked with no chance of zombies breaking in and eating them. It was rather peaceful and they got to sit and watch Zombieland on that little screen. The blond enjoyed the movie, laughing his ass off most of the time. He kept Julchen close the entire time, not because he was scared but he wanted to cuddle however Julchen assumed he was scared since, before all of this, zombie movies used to scare her shitless. But now that she lived them, it was a different story altogether. Now all the gore in the world didn't even make her nauseous anymore.

"That was really good." He stretched now that the movie was over. 

She nodded, smiling widely at him. "Told you it was accurate!"

He nodded, laughing. "Yeah, I guess that makes you Columbus and me Tallahassee!" 

She laughed. "What're you looking for then? If it's not Twinkies?" 

"Danishes, or hair gel," he joked. 

"You mean like the pastries? Oh man, I love those things!"

"Same here!" Something else they had in common. "I actually know how to make them. If I had the stuff to make them, I would make you some."

She smiled widely. "We have to get some stuff for them then and find somewhere to cook them!"

He nodded. "Alright, we'll go look for some in the morning"

"I say we stay on track to the university..." She yawned, slowly falling asleep where she was sat. He gave a small nod.

The six foot softy cuddled with his travelling companion for warmth and fell asleep a little while after she had.

 

* * *

 

It was nice and warm there since they had been cuddling and yet she still woke up at the crack of dawn, her personal radiator still fast asleep. After pushing him off her so she could do so properly, she began driving again, getting as far as she could before they ran out of fuel completely. Thankfully, Mathias woke up just as it did, rubbing his eyes after he was nudged. Though disorientated, he nodded after being told they would need to continue on foot. 

For the time being, they got something to eat from their bags so that they would at least have the energy to walk however far it was. Over breakfast, they figured out where they were and just how far they had to go, planning the best route so they would stay away from the motorway. It was dangerous enough last time and they had been lucky no one had killed them and stolen their supplies.

Packs on their backs now, they abandoned the four by four to continue on foot, killing a few zombies that got too close but it was only stragglers from packs, nothing to really worry about. They were probably weak and going to die anyway so the duo were simply doing them a favour.

They walked pretty much all day until it got dark and it became too risky to go any further. With his strange sixth sense for all things Scandinavian, Mathias led the way to a nearby Ikea where they could safely stay the night. In theory, anyway.

"What, are we going to defend ourselves with flat packed furniture?" Julchen half joked, keeping a hold on her pack as they headed inside. Maybe there were some working forklifts here so that would be good defence.

"Shh, Ikea has a little bit of everything. Trust me, my friend Berwald would live in an Ikea if he could." He was completely serious about that as he led her down the road. 

"Maybe we'll find him here." The albino woman shrugged, looking about before realising something. "There's beds though! And blankets! Awesome!" Ikea mattresses were either hard as hell or the comfiest thing in the world so it was really a gamble.

He laughed. "It's been forever since I slept in a bed! It'll be a nice change from sleeping in a tree or on the floor."

Their hopes were shattered, however, when they approached the front entrance only to notice that it was boarded up, causing both of them to frown.

"Looks like someone had the same idea as us..." she sighed, wondering if they should pull the boards off. He started pulling some off anyway because Mathias didn't care who put them up, he was human, not some flesh eater!

"Well, hopefully they're nice or I'm gonna have to cut a bitch," he muttered, not caring about any splinters that would be stuck in his hands. It wasn't even furniture wood, whoever did this had gone into the warehouse section and grabbed a pallet or two, torn them to pieces, and nailed it to the front.

That knowledge made the German very nervous, causing her to grab her knives and take a step back just in case. "I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Yeah, hopefully." He managed to get off enough wood for him to fit through, hesitating to look back at her. "Do you want me to go first?" 

She shook her head. "I'll go, you make sure no one is around." With that, she stepped inside and looked around. 

"Do you see anyone?" Matt called, he couldn't really see inside much with her in the way.

"Not yet!" Julchen called, freezing when she heard a gun cock, the sound just outside his earshot. 

Behind the firearm was a small Finnish man, who looked rather cute but looked like he could kill her without hesitation what with that glint in his eye. "Tell whoever is outside that there's no one in here and to come inside." He said quietly, so whoever was outside couldn't hear him. A larger Swedish man came out of nowhere and stood by the door with a rather nice looking chair, ready to hit the other when he entered.  

The woman looked at the two, frowning but otherwise not looking scared. They were gonna kill them both by the looks of things. "Mathias, come on in!" She may as well give up all hope of finding her brother at this rate. It was more inconvenient than anything.


End file.
